Birthday blessings

I turned 56 last Monday, and it has been one of my best birthdays ever. And now I finally have a chance to blog about it.





Saturday D. gave Joanna her Mandarin lesson and then the two of them prepared this incredible meal:

Beijing Duck
Fried Rice with Taiwanese Sausage
Green onion bing with beef
Chinese chicken salad
Asperagas
Fresh pineapple

Later D. and I had another great long discussion about "Lost," thinking who we most identified with as a character.

Then Sunday, after church, L. and D. and Joanna rushed back to our house and prepared a delicious whole pork loin stuffed with apples, apricots and raisins, and glazed with with thickened apple juice. They also roasted chunks of parsnips, carrots, turnips and sweet potatoes, and complemented it with rosemary bread. Finally, J. brought two cakes--one chocolate, one lemon, and an unbelievably rich chocolate brownie torte with lovely ruffles of whipped cream.

B and K gave me a huge bunch of daphne in an antique vase; its scent perfumed the whole first floor as we dined. There were 13 of us around the table, laughing, discussing, wondering what the future would hold. And it felt just like birthdays when I was a kid on Theiss Road. This time, though, instead of only blood relatives, I was surrounded by family and friends in the Blood.

What a wonderful gift that is! I am humbled and so grateful to have had this foretaste of heaven for my birthday.

Of Chicken Kiev and a Greek Tango

Another hour and Mother's Day 2009 will be history. I have been blessed for the past 22 years to have been among the ranks of mothers being honored on this day.

For many, it is a day of mixed emotions, or worse. For them, I pray God's comfort and peace. I am not without some lingering pains: my Grandma Pete died on a Mother's Day over two decades ago, and there were half a dozen Mother's Days where my own mother didn't know my name, thanks to Alzheimer's Disease.

But today, I awoke to a vase of coral and ivory roses on the kitchen table, plus a big pot of spanish lavendar and another of bog rosemary--gifts from my husband, Steve, and daughter, Joanna. After church they made me dinner, and what a dinner! Chicken Kiev, asparagas and rice pilaf. This was no frozen meal: Steve and Joanna made it from scratch, with lots of butter and garlic and parsley. But the most important ingredient was love.

My friend J. is newly divorced. She went to a concert last night and heard a song, "Greek Tango" sung by Constantinos Yiannoudes. It is a very sad song, wondering what happened to the love two people once shared. Here are the words:

Truly it is terrible. I have to admit
Your old love for me does not concern you anymore.

You hastily give me a typical "good evening."

You do not even give me your small beautiful hand.

As if it wasn't true

As if your tears never flowed for me.

As if it wasn't true

In those past years, when you lived for me

and I lived for you.

Each one hates the other.

And you have forgotten

all those sweet kisses you gave me.

And all our love is buried

in a drawer with yellowed letters.

As if it wasn't true,

as if your tears never flowed for me.

As if it wasn't true

In those past years, when you lived for me

and I lived for you.

Today J. taught Ephesians 4:30-32 to the high school group. It took great strength. The kids sat rapt, knowing that she spoke from her own experience. She compared a mother's love to Lord's. He is the source of all love, trust and intimacy. "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption," Human love may fail. Even a mother's love will someday come to an end, but God's love is constant and true.

This could have been one of those painful holidays. Though J. will never again celebrate her wedding anniversary, God is good: her son presented her with a vase of flowers early this morning, sat beside her in worship, and thanked God for her during the open prayer time. Like all wise and good children, he knew that the most important ingredient is love.

Matthew 18:3-5

And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes a humble place—becoming like this child—is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

A Chinese Feast

Two nights ago, D.Y., our Taiwanese-American friend (who has been tutoring Joanna in Mandarin) made us a most fabulous meal. His Taiwanese parents owned a restaurant, so he knows what real Chinese food should taste like. We have only had the popular American variety, and he was anxious to introduce us to the Real Thing. All I can say is, it's a whole 'nother cuisine! Thanks, D. for opening up this new world to us.

The photos below are the nearest visual equivalents that I could find on the web to what D. served us. I wonder what the marriage feast of the Lamb will be like if it can be this good, this side of heaven?


- Miso Chilean Sea Bass. It was marinated in sake and rice wine.I am not a fish lover, but this was truly extraordinary.


Yuxiang Eggplant. This was a real hit. D. kept apologizing for its greasiness, but we are Bilynskyjs and not afraid of oil. After all, neither was Aaron.





Chinese Broccoli w/ Oyster Sauce




-Baby Bok Choy w/ Shiitake Mushrooms





- NiuRou Zuan Bing (Beef wrapped in Green Onion Pancake with
Hoison Sauce). These are Chinese burritos. I wish they were as widely available as the Mexican ones.




- and Potato Salad
sliced apples gave it an Asian twist.

"No gift is free"

My friend wrote: "Nothing good comes easy or free. No gift is free. Does even agape carry obligations?"

I'd like to address this statement with two separate entries. This one will consider the idea, "No gift is free." Doesn't it depend on what you mean by "free?" If it means "no attachment," then it is impossible for any gift to be free, because gift-giving presumes some sort of relationship, no matter how tenuous. There must be a giver, a gift, and a receiver.

But if "free" describes an action performed by an agent who could have chosen to do otherwise, then a gift can be free, because the giver could have chosen not to give it, and the recipient could have chosen not to receive it.

If we were all discrete, independent atomic units, determined by laws of cause and effect, then gift-giving would be impossible, because there would not be any real relationships within which to give and receive; such transactions would be inevitable. If the fitting response for receiving a gift is gratitude, it seems strange to speak of thanksgiving being inevitable.

If we were all discrete independent atomic units, randomly banging into each other across time and space, gift-giving would be impossible, because there would not be any real relationships that lasted long enough for there to be a "giver" and a "receiver." We would not be able to identify the giver, or even the gift, and again, the experience of thanksgiving would be incoherent.

But if we are beings that can choose to enter into real relationships with one another, and choose to begin them or continue them or seal them with gifts, then we can speak of gifts as being free or not.

It is possible to speak of gifting in terms of obligation, if the relationship exists in order to promote/perpetuate the power or position of the giver over receiver. That is, by accepting the gift, the recipient is in some way bound by the giver so that the recipient cannot (or should not) act against the giver. But this is a tragic understanding of gifting. Some people think that all relationships must be construed in terms of oppressors and victims, and indeed, in this fallen world, almost all relationships exhibit this twisting at some point or other. But is it the only way ?

As Christians, we believe that that is not the way God acts, because God is love. We believe that He gave us the greatest gift of all--Himself, in Jesus Christ; not to promote His own power or position, but to lift us from sin into His own life. We believe that the more we catch His vision (that is, catch the Vision of Him) the less we will operate out of obligation or power and the more we will operate out of His truth, beauty and goodness.

We believe that some people (who could have done otherwise) choose to reject that gift. There are consequences either way, (cf. Luke 14) but consequences and obligations are two different things.

An Artist's Journal, or Skivington so Far

My dear friend Janice has begun a blog, "Janice Skivington:
An Artist's Journal or Skivington So Far." I am so excited that she has finally begun blogging, because it means almost every day there will be some image to enjoy. It also means that she will be prompted to produce even more new images!

Jan's portfolio includes work for

InterVarsity Press
The University of Notre Dame Press
Tyndale House Publishing
SRA McGraw Hill
Highlights Magazine
National Wildlife Federation
Lady Bug Magazine
David C. Cook Publishing
Concordia Publishing
Children's Press
Scott Foresman
Quarasan
Harcourt Press
University of Chicago

If you have read The Book for Children or the original editions of F.F. Bruce's The Hard Sayings of Jesus or Alasdair MacIntyre's After Virtue, you have encountered her illustrations.

Jan and I go back to the days at Notre Dame, when our husbands were in the graduate philosophy program. She and Jay were the first of our circle to have a child, who is now married and is at Fordham pursuing his own academic career in philosophy.(Can it possibly be?) Jan has raised four children, two dogs, rats and a lizard, travelled with her family from the Philippines to China to central America to England, and run marathons. She is a phenomenal mother, wife, sister, and Christian woman. But most precious to me, she is my friend. So, Jan, I thank God for you, and pray that He will give you many more years to explore His world and share your art with us all.

Life is Not Fair

It's not fair that H. should be losing his beautiful young wife. It's not fair that M. will grow up without his mother around. It's not fair that Mamma D. is watching her daughter die in a foreign land, where she is deprived of the support of friends and family.

On the other hand, this life is not fair, but this is not our only life.

Before something can be broken, it must exist as a whole. Before something falls, it must have be balanced. Evil is always a privation of good: a twisting, an absence, a deprivation of something positive, real, true and beautiful. The good news is that we have a Lord who loves what He has created so much that He is in the process of healing that which fell, and repairing that which is broken.

I believe friendship is one of the ways He is accomplishing that.

C.S. Lewis writes in The Four Loves:

For a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples,"Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another." The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others. They are no greater than the beauties of a thousand other men; by Friendship, God opens our eyes to them. They are, like all beauties, derived from Him, and then, in a good Friendship, increased by Him through the Friendship itself, so that it is His instrument for creating as well as revealing. At this feast it is He who has spread the board, and it is He who has chosen the guests. it is He, we may dare to hope, who sometimes does, and always should preside. Let us not reckon without our Host.

I shall always remember this afternoon, sitting between my two dear friends, J and A, and in the presence of our Mutual Friend, Jesus. May His peace be ours tonight, with each of us receiving the sort of healing we need.