Love to the very end: A Theology of Dementia

 

At one point in my mother's descent into dementia, I was present when she had a lucid moment.  She had long forgotten my name, and had taken to calling me "Nice Lady," but even that was now slipping from her memory, as she spoke less and less.  I was sitting beside her, watching her nap, when she woke, looked straight at me, and addressed me by name: "Beth, it's so important to love Jesus." Then the clouds once more gathered, and communication stopped.

But that one experience was a gift from God, assuring me that even if our earthly relationship was breaking down, our heavenly relationship in Christ was strong. I recently came upon an article in Notre Dame's Church Life Journal that has helped explain just what happened between us that afternoon,

<John Swinton’s 2012 book Dementia: Living In the Memories of God develops a practical theology of dementia as he explores two primary questions: “who am I when I've forgotten who I am?”, and “what does it mean to love God and be loved by God when I have forgotten who God is?” Swinton draws an analogy from the Trinity, as “constituted by relationships,” to a view of human beings as constituted in the same way. This, he argues, takes the emphasis off individual self-awareness and locates a person’s humanity in the community of which they are part. By redefining dementia in light of the transformative counter story that is the gospel, Swinton is able to offer a compassionate and yet rigorous account of why people with advanced dementia ought still be treated as human persons and souls deeply united to Christ.

Similarly, Peter Kevern attempts to reshape our understanding of dementia by describing it as a unique mode of participation in the cross of Christ. In his article “Sharing the Mind of Christ”, Kevern argues that Christ “demented” on the cross, and in this way united himself to the suffering of people with dementia. That is to say, the crucified Christ experienced a loss of awareness whereby “he was only slightly able to function mentally, dimly aware of his surroundings, his mission and his self.” At the very least, Christ was “delirious” and it is “unlikely that his last minutes of life on the cross were lived in full self-awareness.” The demented Christ, Kevern writes, “was brought into solidarity with the demented, the comatose and the mentally disabled.” “The world of those who are dementing is not a grace-free zone”, Kevern contends.

Kevern also argues that human person is not defined by self-awareness but rather by “the narrative of a whole life” and the choices that a person makes throughout their life. In the case of Christ, we need not put so much emphasis on his fully-aware, fully-conscious act of self-surrender right to the very end of the crucifixion. Rather, the redemption is something that spans Christ’s whole life and that continues beyond the tomb. With this view of identity in mind, Kevern argues that:

"Even if a dementing Christian loses self-awareness to the point of losing any memory of having had a faith, the fact that they are a diachronic, causal extension of the person who, when they were self-aware did have a faith is enough to provide confidence in their status before God."

The lack of self-awareness of people with dementia, in other words, need not be seen as compromising their relationship with God. Rather, they can still be intimately united with Christ provided that the fundamental orientation of their life is toward God. This is certainly a far cry from the idea that people with advanced dementia are “spiritually dead.”>
--"Love to the Very End: A Theology of Dementia" by Xavier Symons, in the December 03, 2021 edition of the University of Notre Dame's Church Life Journal https://churchlifejournal.nd.edu/articles/love-to-the-very-end-a-theology-of-dementia/  )

 In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18,Paul writes, "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." The orientation of my mother's life was toward Jesus, and even as her brain was wasting away, she was aware of His love. Redemption is something that spanned her whole life and  I have faith that it continues beyond her grave.