Visited A. today. She now weighs less than 100 lbs and is in constant pain, all over her body. Each day she takes 9 ibuprofins and 3 oxycontins. She's had a straight week of chemo which has left her unable to walk. She was bitterly disappointed to miss her first Christmas at VCC as a Christian. Today's conversation was particularly wrenching:
A: "Beth, God must not love me anymore. I pray and pray and He does not take away the pain. In fact, it has gotten even worse since H. (her husband) has decided he will tell his parents that I am a Christian and that he supports me in following Christ.
Me: "Oh, A., it is not God who sends the pain, but Satan. God loves you and will always love you."
A: "But I have so much pain!"
Me: "But His own Son had pain, too, and God loved Him!"
A: "Yes, but Jesus' pain was only a couple of days. I have had pain for months. I pray to Jesus and say, 'let's trade places; give me your pain and please take mine.' But he doesn't hear me."
These are the points where conversation ends and tears begin to flow.
1 comment:
Beth, the tears you and A. share fall in the palms of our Savior's wounded hands. So much pain in our world. Something very right went very wrong. My prayers for A., H., and M. continue as do my prayers for you. Bring Him the pain, the disillusionment, the questions. Mercifully His shoulders are strong enough.
Compassionately,
Carrie Sue
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